It's the one thing we all truly desire and yet can be the most difficult thing to attain. In fact everything we do is focused upon creating connection, a sense of belonging, everything from how we dress to what we post on social media. But most of us never feel like we belong.
We do our best to try and fit in, to create an identity that seems to match those we wish to connect with, but "fitting in" means we are squeezing our big unique shiny selves into an industrially molded box, something that says, "Here I am, I'm this", whatever "this" is- the perfectly patient stay-at-home mom, the fitness guru, the perpetually positive person, the successful real estate agent.
Here's the problem though.
We are all unique and weird and usually have been broken in some way along the path of our life. We've made mistakes, experienced loss and pain, and at some point faced something we were ashamed to share with others because we didn't want that one thing to color their idea of...
So let's say everything in life feels good, like really great... things are totally going your way, deals are happening, business is flowing, your hair looks great, and your energy is through the roof.
Then something happens...
Something that throws all that positive energy you've been exuding right out the window.
Suddenly, everything looks dark and bleak. Hope drains right out of you, you have a hole in the center of your chest that just won't go away, and you honestly can't get yourself moving to do all the things you were so excited about just before.
How do you cope? How do you get your mojo back when life has fallen apart?
The natural tendency is to "fill the void". That big hole in your chest doesn't feel good. You want it to go away as soon as possible. So you try everything else possible: buy things you don't need, eat comfort food, numb yourself with alcohol or worse, and in the event of an abandonment situation- sex with anyone who makes...
To understand why productivity coaching is not the solution you need to succeed, you first need to understand why you've sought (or are thinking of seeking) out a coach to begin with.
Typically, we go into real estate thinking that we're going to make lots of money easily. Sure, it'll be a struggle at first... but once we get things rolling, it'll be a breeze. We think we're going to show houses, meet people, have fun, and the money will just flow and money will make us happy and therefore fix all of our problems. Of course we know on a conscious level that money doesn't fix our deep-rooted problems but still, this is the feeling we seem to have anyway.
Once you are actually knee-deep in the business of real estate, you come to the conclusion that money (and leads) are not exactly pouring in the door and the lead generation tactics taught are either very expensive or feel icky and unsavory so either you don't do them consistently or you...
As a Real Estate Coach, one of the biggest, most important issues my agents bring to me is problems in their marriage/romantic relationship. Real Estate, as an industry, has one of the highest rates of divorce. So, knowing that, what do you think are the major causes of divorce in a Real Estate marriage?
Agents are constantly on the go. Often, they don't set boundaries with clients and so have no problem with answering the phone or dropping everything to meet a client, no matter what else they are in the middle of- a romantic dinner out, a memorable family event, their kid's big game, even sex. The agent sees every phone ring as a potential paycheck and yet the partner (and children, friends, etc.) see this as a blatant disregard for everything and everyone who should be more important to the agent than that stranger on the phone. Ironically, it's often the agents who don't set boundaries that are also the ones with inconsistent income and struggle to bring home the money...
The other day, I sent out an email to my LinkedIn connections. This was an email written from my heart about a very difficult time in my life and how that experience motivated and inspired me to make a positive difference in the lives of others. It's the experience that put me on my path to integrative coaching and I felt the email was a powerful one.
I received messages and emails thanking me for writing it and for sending it to them... that reading it had helped them and/or inspired them. But I also received emails from people who said some very negative things... telling me what a miserable person they think me to be, a complainer, a wallower, asking me why I thought they needed to read such garbage.
I'll be honest with you... seeing those negative emails hurt. Yet, I am always reminded that my message is about overcoming pain, trauma, and sadness with hope, courage, and being inspired to keep growing, keep learning, and spreading love as far as one can. Yes, it hurts...
You came here for a reason and, let's be honest here, you're struggling with at least one of the four elements of productivity and probably more than just one.
Do yourself a favor, book some time, it's free, and let's get you the solution you need to breakthrough these issues once and for all.